Relationships

Evan on June 3rd, 2010

I have a guest post on the Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life blog. It is called Mirror Games: Confusion When We Influence Our Environment. It is about that difficult time in relationships when we aren’t sure who is influencing who and who is responsible for what, and it is awfully difficult to know what to […]

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Evan on May 24th, 2010

I have a couple of friends who always seem to be processing the same issue at the same time. It may be intimacy or friendship or establishing an income. The issues have been quite varied. This happens even if they haven’t been in touch much in the time in between. They are around the same, […]

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Evan on April 21st, 2010

I have a guest post on the Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life blog. It is called Changing Ourselves and Changing Others. This is a very big topic to take on all at once. I look at the way that we influence each other and how demanding that others change is likely to produce the opposite. […]

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Evan on April 19th, 2009

Image by whiskymac People are social beings. In modern society I find it impossible to imagine how a person could lead an entirely separate existence – even if someone wanted to. And not many of us want to. For most of us our treasured moments are about connecting with others. We want to connect with […]

Continue reading about Grumpy People Rule OK! (?)

Image by thp365 Step Five. Moving Toward Commonality. It is a bit of a toss-up whether it was this step or the first one that is the hardest. This step involved being with disgust and feeling uncompromising. For us it may have been easier than it may be for others. We’ve been together for a […]

Continue reading about Eight Steps for Working with a Deep Difference in an Important Relationship #3

Image by thp365 Step Two. Who am I in this? Eventually it becomes possible to not focus only on the other person. It becomes possible to focus on ourselves again. We have a sense that we are settled in our own skin. We have a sense of our own sensations and emotions – and the […]

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Image by thp365 This is a reflection on a process that my partner and I have recently been through. It was an extraordinarily intense and difficult time for us. It lasted about a month. During all this time we didn’t know whether our relationship would last – even though we thought we would always remain […]

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Evan on November 5th, 2008

Image by Jacob Botter Please note: this post is written by someone who is not a parent and who has no interest in adding to the parent guilt industry. I think children can be ruthlessly clear-eyed. Here is an example of what I mean. Young Flossie asks her mum Fanny if she can please go […]

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