Most people have an abundance of choices and options. They just don’t know that they do.

And modesty as a block or a blessing: the first time I really thought about modesty in any substantial way was in 1992 when my friend Kevin N did well in basketball – but didn’t say that he had done well. He was being a member of the team. He too was an introvert but had lots of other beautiful qualities which we may or may not have recognised, like his kindness and his beautiful heart.

And then somebody really good who I respect said that I was modest – in the sense of knowing that I was good but not acting superior for that – what Isabella says about not overtooting your horn.

I think qualities like modesty come up in a character when you see its opposite or the lack of it, as several posters have said.

It was really great to read about Ethel Talbot’s views of emulation, especially in the Girl Guide context. Not being like others but being like a standard and not measuring yourself up to it, because life will do it anyway. And also Charlotte Bronte won an Emulation Rewarded value.

In the Evangelical Christianity I grew up in modesty was a bit overdone too I think. I think it lead to a huge waste of talents because people didn’t get to try stuff and find out what they could do.

I would dearly love to find some role models for this. If you know of any let me know. Thanks for your comment, I guess we keep on living with the question and see if we find a way of doing/living.

it’s interesting how you link modesty and internal spirituality. i can’t help but think of my lutheran upbringing here (a bit too modest and internal, i’d say though

how do we link promotion and authenticity? a question that baffles, me, too. i am in a phase right now where i just find it completely uninteresting to overtoot my horn. yes, i have a horn, yes, i’ll blow into it, but please, i really want to blow at my own volume and pace, let my breath dictate the sound i make, not the cacophony around me.

hm, interesting metaphor. how’s that for an idea: breath-based marketing?

Self-promotion I don’t like the sound of at all.

I would like to find models of those who market their stuff not from a scarcity base. You may be one of them. I would be more than happy to copy what you/ these people do. This is one way Tony Robbins and I are in complete agreement: copy others who have done what you want to do. No argument from me about that. This presumes that there are people who have done what you want to do (it is a socially conservative method). I guess there are probably lots of people who have done what I want to do – though they may be only a tiny percentage of those who call themselves ‘marketers’. I just haven’t found them yet (unless one of them is you of course).

At the moment I can’t think of ways to promote myself / my stuff that doesn’t feel scarcity based. I’m not aware of any models of this either. Thanks for this, it’s really helping me think.

What I wonder is — is this just when you are thinking about marketing in conventional ways, using long-form sales letters and so on? Or is this a concern that you have about all marketing and self-promotion? That is, is there any way to promote yourself that doesn’t feel scarcity-based to you?

I think you know Tom Volkar (Delightful Work blog) he has something of this approach – though he sounds like a decided extravert to me.

I struggle with ‘the rules of the game’ being set by ambition (as I see it) – the accepted forms of sales letters and so on. And I’m well aware that I am not comfortable with this way of doing things and haven’t mastered the ‘techniques’. So if people say it is just that I am not good at this stuff, I agree (but maybe not witht the “just”).

Thanks for your comment. It has certainly given me more to think about. The idea “for our business activities to be a natural expression of that contentment, as opposed to an attempt to fix our brokenness” really resonates with me. Thanks for your comment.

As to modesty. This post was written in response to Chris’s so it is probably is a bit one sided. I am in favour of secrets, I don’t think it is always helpful to let our vulnerabilities be known – though in a supportive environment where we trust this can deepen our relationships.

Welcome to the blog – I think this is your first comment. And I hope for many more from you – you certainly add value. Thanks.