for the compliment

and taking the time to leave it,

much appreciated.

I like the distinction between self-love and self-respect.

What’s behind the therapeutic theory of ‘love-yourself-first’ is probably neglected children who become therapists. Though this may be being unfair to them. It is also the string of clients who treat themselves badly and needing to heal this; therefore . . .

A friend in public health was developing a measure for the success of his work. He was thinking of including increase in self-esteem in the clients. Until someone told him that murderers tend to have high self-esteem! There is much food for thought about self-esteem I think. It does seem to be accepted as an unqualified good. We can accept that being honest can lead to problems when done badly (not lovingly) but self-esteem tends not to be questioned. It really is intriguing.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I find that your comments are always thoughtful and stimulating.

i have always been puzzled by what is sometimes a doctrine among us therapists: “you HAVE to love yourself”.

love is an elusive concept, and it is often mixed up with thoughts, deeds and emotions that are not immediately healthy.

perhaps the theory behind “love yourself first” is that our unmet self-love needs will come out in unhealthy ways. however, i’m not sure of that. it’s probably true for some people.

another thought: what’s more rock-bottom important than self love is self respect. a person who treats her/himself shoddy consistently can be someone who is not that pleasant to be around, maybe because we suspect that eventually, that person will mistreat US, too.

i’m also reminded of some research i read a little while ago that people with a slightly low self esteem tend to be more pleasant to be around and generally more of an asset to the community than people with really high self esteem.

lots of food for thought here.

To be a little esoteric: and yet the oneness is still felt.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I do think it is about losing ourselves in order to find ourselves.

I have an aunty who I think is like your grandmother was. Difficult to love and yet so kind to people!