IMHO means “in my humble opinion” - it is an abbreviation used in emails. This is a series where I unashamedly express my opinions in a forthright manner. If you are easily offended it may be best not to read these posts.

In my humble opinion the understanding of games developed by TA can make our lives much happier.

Transactional Analysis (abbreviated to TA) was invented in the 1950’s and 1960’s by Eric Berne and his collaborators. It went through a fad in the 1960’s (especially around the book Games People Play, which was a pretty ordinary book) and has not really recovered from this. This is a shame because there are some parts that are extremely valuable.

One part of TA that is extremely valuable is ‘games’. A game is played with two or more people. It is a little routine that the people go through to find satisfaction. Unfortunately the satisfactions are often felt as unpleasant (anger, sadness, frustration and so on). For it to be a game there needs to be a ‘cross-up’, that is where the routine stops being predictable and the relationship changes. One of the most common examples of this is where one person stops placating the other and expresses anger instead.

To understand the power of games you can think about what little routines you go through with people that end up leaving you feeling bad. You will probably find that at some stage there is a “cross-up”.

What is the alternative to playing games?
It is to directly ask for and act to get satisfaction.

Perhaps you may want space and realise you don’t have to have a fight to leave someone. Perhaps you will find that you can take a break just because you want one and that you don’t have to exhaust yourself and get annoyed with others in order to take one.

These are just examples that are common. They may not be right for you. However, I think if you examine the ways you end up feeling bad you will find that understanding games can make a contribution to your feeling happier.