Little things can be very aggravating. It is puzzling why we care so much about some things:
- the way our wardrobes or bookshelves are organised,
- or the toothpaste squeezed,
- or one chip on one piece out of a whole set of crockery,
- or one pencil marking on a book.
We often don’t even know ourselves why we care so much. I think that there are two reasons why little things upset us so much.
1. My guess is that these little details can be tied to what are bigger issues for us: they represent something important.
It may be that our wardrobes represent order. It may be that unchipped crockery represents refinement. Perhaps that pencil mark on the book represents disrespect for learning.
When we know our reaction is out of proportion then something else is likely going on. I think it can help to know what this something else is. Here are my suggestions for finding out what that something else is:
• Listen to the feelings. Don’t dismiss them because they seem out of proportion. Instead take note that something must be going on if you are this upset.
• Identify what the feeling is (or the various feelings are).
• Remember other times you have this feeling or these feelings.
• Find some link between these past times and this one.
• What is the issue?
• What one thing (the simpler and easier the better) can I do about this?
Further reading:
Muriel Schiffman - Self Therapy
- Gestalt Self Therapy
Both of these clear and useful books explore a process that is similar this in depth. Recommended.
2. We’re just plain stressed and tired and can’t cope with what we normally handle with ease.
We need to find the space to rest and relax and recuperate. Sometimes this is hard. In this case it can help to at least not criticise ourselves. Acknowledging that we have too many demands on us and not enough time can be a relief in itself.
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
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Tags: stress
Thanks for this Evan — this is a great example of how anything that we experience, even if it’s just getting annoyed because the Internet connection is too slow or something, can guide us to becoming aware of the lens through which we see the world.
Hi Chris, very true. The computer is probably the major small thing for me. Thanks for your comment.