I spent a good many years meditating until I learned of the dangers. some studies say over 60% of those that meditate have problems, others say 10 to 20%. i think it is a topic that should be made known to others because all i ever heard about were the pluses.

I read this recommened article this morning. It put words to an experience I had a few weeks ago. And many years prior.

Since 1967 I had wanted to learn to meditate, I was only 13 or 14 then. It took me until 1983 to finally go for formal instruction. Since that time, I have been to many different types of meditation courses, all of which I fell into ‘naturally’, except mindfulness meditation.

A few weeks ago I had been experiencing some rather extreme distress. I reported the events to my therapist. She asked if I knew what to do to relieve some of the tension. I said, sure, I could meditate and be off in never neverland in no time. But I knew that’s not what I wanted, not what would actually begin to solve the problem, instead just put it on hold until I ‘got back’.

I, too, have found that dissociation is my natural fall back position, so staying present, as in mindfulness practice, to observe what’s going on is so much effort for me, it can exacerbate pain or tension, not relieve it. I’m better at being in a more conscious state, rather than invoking an altered one, to observe what is happening.

In other words, meditation for me is an avoidance rather than an observation state. Although it can and does relax me, it has also more often deterrred healing of things I want healed. Things I thought the meditation could assist with, but didn’t.