Simple and Practical

by Evan in Psychological Health

[Apologies for the lack of graphic. I'm on dialup.]

Sometimes there are simple and practical solutions. Often we overlook them – at least a heady person like me does. Two examples to demonstrate what I am talking about.

1. A couple I know had problems resolving some of their arguments. This was strange. Other arguments they had no problems resolving. They couldn’t figure out what the problem was. The arguments they couldn’t resolve weren’t about any particular topic. They weren’t feeling any angrier or different when they resolved stuff to when they didn’t. It turned out that when they talked about things between 3-5pm it went badly. The solution, don’t try and sort things out during this time. Simple.

2. A woman moves in to share a house. This woman has a history of abuse and so has strong feelings about privacy. When she had her shower in the morning one of the (male) people she was living with would walk in to the bathroom. She explained her feelings. He was genuinely sorry and apologetic. But it kept happening. The woman didn’t feel that the person was badly motivated, just took a while to wake up in the mornings. The bathroom door didn’t have a lock. The solution? A rubber door stop.

Are there any times in your life when you have come up with simple and practical solutions to difficult problems. Let me know the ones you have come up with in the comments.

A Great Self-Development Site

by Evan in Blog Reviews

The website myinnerselfgrowth is a mine of information. 

 

It contains the usual topics on self-development (vision, discipline, self-esteem) and lots more.  There are pages on spirituality, health and relationships.  Each of the topical pages finishes with a list of ten things to do.  They are all simple and practical.  The perspective on health is straight western medical.

 

There are also many links provided.  A lot of work has gone into this blog.  I get the feeling that for ola this has been a labour of love.  The site breathes a sense of wanting to help.

 

The pages and posts are well written.  I don’t think I saw a bit spelling error or any major grammatical problems.  This helps make it a pleasure to read.

 

My approach to personal change is a little different to ola’s.  However, I don’t want to detract from what ola has managed to do.  This is a site with a heap of information.  There are lots of resources as well as a blog that you can read and that seems to be fairly frequently updated.  If you want to investigate self-development this would be a great place to start

Information on Diabetes

by Evan in Blog Reviews

At the website Diabetes Health Talk there is lots of information on diabetes.  It includes the signs and symptoms, treatment and possible complications.

 

First, the quibble.  I’m a bit of a spelling nazi.  Stuff like “to much sugar” makes my toes curl.  There is at least one mistake like this on every page.  So much for the quibble.

 

The information looks pretty good.  All the standard stuff is covered.  The medical perspective is straight western.  There is a link to an Amazon store on the subject of diabetes and there is a links page.  Some of the links are about money making and blogs than diabetes, but there are a good few links about diabetes as well.

 

I wasn’t blown away by this website.  It does contain solid information and would be a good place to start to learn about diabetes.  It would also be well worth having a look at the signs and symptoms to know if it is worth speaking to a doctor.  The number of people with diabets is skyrocketing so it’s worth keeping an eye on.  This website is a good encouragement to do that and will help you with some of the information you need to do it.

Love Your Disease?

by Evan in General Health

[Apologies for the lack of graphics. I am on dial up and so can't access them. It looks like I'll be on dial up for another two weeks. Sigh. Evan]

A few years ago John Harrison wrote a book called, “Love Your Disease: It’s Keeping You Healthy”.

The author tells the story of a young man who had acne. He realising that the acne was keeping him safe – not having to negotiate the difficult terrain of adolescent sexuality: afer all the acne meant he was unattractive. Upon realising this the acne began to clear up.

I think many of us have experiences like this. A simple example is the elation we feel after solving a problem or finding out how to do something we wanted to do. We have put out just as much energy and it is even a little later, so after solving the problem why don’t we feel more tired? Why are we feeling better after we know how to do what we want to do? The amount of physical energy we have expended is the same. But we feel different. We have more energy – if it was important enough we might even be dancing around.

This is a small example of our thoughts affecting our physiology. A bigger example is falling in love. This is most striking when it happens between people who have previously known each other. The two people are the same as the day before and yet their experience has changed: it is more intense, alive and sexual.

The most remarkable example I know of our thoughts affecting our physiology happened to a friend of mine. He was in a psychotherapy group. Another group member had a baby face – he was the foreman of a building site and people would walk past him because they thought he was an apprentice. This man’s mother had died during his adolescence. As he said goodbye to her in the therapy group his face aged. He went from having a baby face to a mature man’s face.

It is obvious that our thoughts influence our experience.

This leads to the idea that if we think in a particular way we can experience whatever we want to. I doubt this. The most unsavoury consequence of this way of thinking is that we wanted (in some way) any misfortune that befalls us. This is usually referred to (disapprovingly) as ‘blaming the victim’. It certainly means that we have no need to help others (after all they brought it on themselves by their bad thinking.)

I don’t think our thoughts can influence our experience that much. I think there is a real world which ‘resists’ our thoughts. And I think that often our thoughts need to be enacted to influence this real world.

Having said this I think we are usually more influential in our experience than we realise. Finding out how much we can change can be a lifelong experiment. We don’t know in advance. (There is a lot of room for experiment between everything and nothing.)

What does this have to do with loving our disease? That it is worth finding out how much we influence ‘the disease’. Even with something that we believe is completely beyond our control we have some choice about our response. A good friend of mine got cancer. Being confronted with the ‘you are responsible for getting cancer’ line, they decided this was incorrect. They did discover though that the diagnosis was a relief – it meant that they didn’t have to do some things that they didn’t want to do. They were quite shocked when they discovered this. This is the kind of thing I mean by finding out.

Then there are ‘diseases’ are descriptions of behaviour. This is especially the case with relationship and emotional problems. I’m not saying that these things don’t have a physiological base. What I’m asking is for an investigation. Here’s an example of what I mean. A man I knew was diagnosed with manic-depression (called bi-polar these days). His wife was extremely supportive and he had good support from friends to. They found that if they caught it early enough the time he spent manic (and subsequently depressed) could be reduced from weeks to hours. (It started with stuff happening in his shoulders. If he got a massage at this point it reduced the duration of the episode.) This is only one person and may have nothing to do with anyone else. I tell the story to make the point that it is worth finding out.

For me, the perspective of ‘love your disease’ is an invitation to investigate and experiment. Not a guilt trip.

Have you found that a problem you had contained benefits for you? Have you had the experience of a troublesome ‘disease’ or condition leaving when you understood it? I’d love to hear your experience in the comments.

From Dependence to Independence to Interdependence

by Evan in Uncategorized

I have a guest post on Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life. Actually a series of three. The first one on dependence has been posted. The next two (on independence and interdependence) are coming soon.

Hope you like them. Evan

Two New Pages

by Evan in Uncategorized

I’ve just added two new pages to the blog.  One giving my most popular posts and the other called Start Here, giving an overview of what this blog is about and the posts that show this best.

 

I hope this makes this blog more useful and easier to find your way around.  Evan

The Rules – useful to keep, good to break?

by Evan in Psychological Health

[Apologies. I am confined to dialup at the moment, so no images with this post.]

In this post I’d like to look at the usefulness and limitations of rules. I’d like to start by telling you three stories.

1. In Australia, where I live, there is a concern for workplace health and safety. This is excellent, important and should be encouraged in my view. This has meant that there have been many procedures invented in workplaces to ensure safety.

Imagine this scenario in a workplace. A first year apprentice is outfitted correctly – his hair is not too long, so it can’t be caught in the machinery; his overalls are done up correctly; he is wearing appropriate head and eye protection; and the appropriate protective footwear. The machinery has the appropriate guards in place so people can’t inadvertently slip and be injured. Is everyone safe? What if I tell you that apprentices like to throw chunks of wood at a spinning machine and seeing where they land. I’ve met the person who saw this happening.

2. Imagine you are driving along normally and you see a car heading for you on your side of the road. It is time to consider whether you should drive on the wrong side of the road too.

3. Another true story. It is about a church organisation dedicated to caring for people with a disability. This service is dedicated to guarding the health of these people and helping them to become included in the community. It is necessary for this service to be insured – for the sake of both its staff and clients. The insurance company naturally doesn’t want to pay out its money – and, as this would mean an injury or harm to the staff or clients, that should be the desire of the service too. (Shouldn’ it?) The insurance company wants the environment as safe as possible. This should be the desire of the service too. (Shouldn’t it?) This means, that for insurance purposes, the service needs to control the environment as much as possible, so that they can make it as safe as possible. This means keeping the people with a disability within the houses the service controls as much as possible – directly contrary to helping them be involved in the community: not exactly a great outcome for the service of their clients.

This is not a problem with motivation. Everyone is concerned for the health of the clients. It is something about how the rules are made that is the problem. In this post I want to look at rules.

The purpose of the illustrations about the apprentice and driving is that the rules can’t take account of everything. Even if our context isn’t literally infinite, it effectively is. Something unexpected can always happen. An unexpected change can occur, a factor we hadn’t thought of affects the situation. There is no way to write a set of rules that takes account of everything. The appropriate “rule” for our apprentice is, “Don’t be an idiot”. The appropriate”rule” for our car driver is, “Do the safest thing you can”.

Which leads to the point that: the rules are made for a purpose – and sometimes acting with the purpose in mind means breaking the rules: like driving on the wrong side of the road when it is the way to avoid an accident. In my examples above the purpose is to guard people’s health.

With the car example it is pretty clear what needs to happen. With the insurance for the disability service it is much less clear.

Rules, routines, habits – they can all simplify our lives; and they are all useful for this. Sometimes though we need to let go of them. The problem I think is that we come to rely on them. They become invisible to us.

Very occasionally this forgetting can be a serious problem. Medical people are trained not to treat those close to them – it is thought to interfere with “objectivity” and have other difficulties. This may generally be a good thing. Until a group of medical people are involved in a car accident – and they can’t act because these people are friends. A medical student friend of mine knew the people that this happened to.

There are two important things to keep in mind when we are using rules and routines:
1. No rule can take account of every situation.
2. Rules are to serve a purpose. Sometimes the rules need to be revised, or broken, for the sake of the purpose.

Where do you find rules are useful to you? Have you had to change a rule you had lived by? Please tell me your experience with rules in the comments.