That is, we learn what we like, and what the world is like, in advance. But how is this different to simple prejudice – judging a situation before we have met it (or met it only briefly and superficially). This is the subject of my guest post on the Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life blog. It is called, “Does Learning Create Prejudice“. I hope you like it, Evan.

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It has been an extremely stimulating dialogue and got me thinking about what I mean when I say ‘belief’. And how this relates to what I mean when I say ‘experience’. I don’t have a settled answer to this.

The post is called Is There an Experience of Belief? It is about exploring this whole matter – I use the example of what it means that me and my partner believe we will be together for life. I hope you like the post. I am very keen to hear how others experience belief and any thoughts they may have about how this fits with experience.

Looking forward to hearing from you, Evan.

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There may be surprises on the pilgrim’s journey but these are secondary. Being on a pilgrimage may be enjoyable but the enjoyment is not the point. There is a difference between a pilgrimage and a holiday; between a pilgrim and a tourist. For the pilgrim there is a purpose and to depart from this purpose is to stop being a pilgrim.

The pilgrim sets out on a pilgrimage for a known purpose – to pay a debt, to express penance, or to seek a blessing. A pilgrimage in this sense is a closed loop – it can be planned, a pilgrim is not open to any experience but chooses among experiences. A pilgrimage has focus and perhaps even a touch of austerity. A pilgrim does not take our everyday concerns and involvements with complete seriousness – they are moving on.

To be immersed in the everyday, involved in our normal relationships, fulfilling our usual roles, is not compatible with a pilgrimage. Pilgrimage may not be a lifestyle, it can be limited in time, but it relies on the everyday – the pilgrim is sustained by their own past and others current work. Just as in modern life our holidays rely on the work that we have done and that others do.

Modern Pilgrims?
The pilgrim is an old archetype; it comes with a quite medieval flavour. There are of course millions of people on pilgrimage every year. In this sense there are lots of modern pilgrims. But there are figures that feel much more modern to me – the worker, the tourist, even the scholar.

What feels different to me about the pilgrim is the sense of time involved. In some sense the pilgrim is set apart from the everyday; the pilgrimage is a time apart from ordinary time. For me, the modern doesn’t have this sense of a different time – time in the modern world feels all the same. It is simple duration marked off in seconds, or days or years. Time is not qualitative in the modern world, it is always the same. A time of mourning in the modern world can have the sense of a particular amount of time, rather than being a time devoted to a task and characterised by particular feelings.

I think the pilgrim doesn’t quite fit with our modern time sense – with our measurement and precision. And I wonder if this modern time sense isn’t in some senses a loss. If pilgrimage was an honourable and important part of our lives I don’t think we could be so clock driven. There would be a sense of a different order, a sense in which clock time is judged and evaluated – and by more than efficiency.

In brief, I think what I’m reaching for is the sense that, for the pilgrim time can have meaning; it is not only a quantity.

I’m wondering if you have been on a pilgrimage, or, perhaps have the sense of being on one? Do you have the sense that some times are more special than others for you? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments on this post.

The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.

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So in this post on the Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life blog I’ve tried to rescue repetition from the bad press that it tends to get. I hope you like. It’s called Repetition Repetition Aids Aids Learning Learning.

The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.

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A couple of words about this approach. It is not about predicting the future. It presumes that the dream is produced by the person having it (that it is not a message from angels, spirits or anyone other than the person who had the dream). It concerns the dreams we remember once we wake up. It presumes that the dream relates to our waking life. It lets you discover the meaning of your dream for yourself (there are books that give the meaning for particular kinds of dreams – unfortunately they don’t agree with each other. This means that you have to sort out which one to believe based on your experience. I think you may as well go straight to your experience and not bother with the books based on the experience of others.).

1. I have found that it helps to pay attention as soon as you wake up. For me writing helps – but I’m a very wordy person. I find that if I go on with my day presuming I’ll remember the dream just as well later, that I can’t remember it later. For you it may just be staying in bed for a few minutes recalling the dream.
2. If I have a disturbing dream that leaves me with intense emotions, I will usually be able to remember it later. It can be helpful for me to do something routine to get myself back into the waking world and out of the dream world. I then come back to the dream with this bit of distance.
3. Start with the most vivid part of the dream.
4. Take note of any emotions you are feeling. Ask yourself if you are feeling these kinds of emotions in any part of your life (perhaps less intensely).
5. See if you can give a name to this part of the dream. It may be that you find a personal name (if so then over subsequent minutes, or years, you may get to know this person). It may be a quality – in which case ask about the presence or absence of this quality in your life at the moment. Another approach is to imagine writing this part of the dream and then giving a title to it. (Alternatively seeing it as a play, movie, sculpture or some other art form and giving it a name.)
6. Ask what would be perfect for this part of the dream. If this part of the dream is a person ask what would be ‘heaven on earth’ for this person.
7. Do these things for any parts of the dream you have strong feelings about (including a strong feeling that you would like to ignore it).
8. If two parts are in conflict or competing, make sure to do this process for both. If possible it can be helpful to have the different parts of the dream relate to each other. It is best if they can come to agreement or come together in some way.
[In one dream I had a shark and a scientist came together. The scientist melted into the shark and looked out through its eyes: I can spot the point of an argument that needs to be attacked and tear it apart, so that it becomes food for me. In another dream Tarzan agreed to look after his child companion: I found that I could care for the childlike part of me and not judge it harshly.]

I hope this isn’t too abstract. If so, please let me know in the comments. I have found that listening to my dreams can lead me to vivid insights as to what is happening in my life. If you have had vivid experiences from listening to your dreams I’d like to hear about them in the comments too.

The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.

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We seem to have some impulsion to growth. The image for this that I like best is the seed or acorn. I like this image because it allows for the influence of environment (soil, wind and so on), the sense of our developing individuality (every oak tree is different), and the sense of a shared identity (every acorn and oak tree are in some sense the same). What’s more, this impulse to growth is natural – we don’t need to tell an acorn to grow into an oak tree.

These kinds of ideas lie at the heart of one approach to self-development. People have a natural impulse for what is good for them – and with the right environment and support they will flourish and become the splendid individual they were meant to be.

I am in complete agreement with this approach. I think that ‘shoulds’ often impede people rather than helping them, in my observation and experience it is acceptance of who we are that leads to change and growth. Whenever I have been in the place where another can share with me what they have most wanted this has always been healthy (however awful the expression of it has been the desire has been healthy. For instance, those who are quite violent can be seeking to protect their vulnerability. VERY important note: this does not mean that behaviour is not dealt with, it means that there is a possibility of the behaviour being changed.)

It can be complicated.
This sounds simple enough. I think it is in some ways.

The main complication, as I see it, is that people are a learning species. We have far fewer instincts than other critters. While we desire to flourish (as any organism does), this involves learning much from others – especially in the social world. Most of our lives are spent with others and how we get on with them has a big influence on how enjoyable our lives are and the extent to which we flourish.

Pointing out how important learning is to people highlights the importance of teaching. The most important teaching is usually done by our biological parents or other early care givers. There are also friends and other parent figures as well as those who teach us how to do specific things (from learning hobbies to the tasks we do for paid work).

A big feature of a healthy environment for people is good teaching.

Frustration
Any impulse or desire can lead to frustration (if the impulse can’t be expressed or the desire satisfied). In one sense frustration is a sign of health.

A biological organism, like a person, that has needs which need to be met (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and social in my view) will usually experience a life of frustration and satisfaction. The extent to which we flourish depends very much on the extent to which our desires are met and frustrations overcome.

The promise of frustration is clarity. If we are frustrated there is something definite to work with – we know that we want something.

Frustrating Life
If we are frustrated then our impulse to growth is being frustrated in some way: we are ‘hungry’ for something. It may be good food, or friendship, a vocation or to understand. To trust life means to trust our frustration enough to listen to it. If we can listen we will get in touch with our needs and perhaps experience flourishing just that little bit more.

How to listen to a frustration

• Observe the frustration in your body. What are the sensations? Are there tight muscles? Are there sensations on your skin or inside your skeleton?
• Pay attention to day dreams. Are there things that you usually think about in idle moments? What kinds of things? These can be a valuable clue to unmet needs or desires for your future.
• Imagine in what situation you would be free of this frustration. How can you make this more a part of your life? You may not be able to live a life of idleness on a tropical island (giving away something about my daydreams), but you may be able to find times of idleness in your day.

I hope you find these few suggestions helpful. Listening to our frustrations is a pathway to a flourishing life.

The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.

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Shattering Stereotypes
This is a surprising book. Try to imagine who would write a book on developing your intuition. The book also talks about the “law of attraction” and speaks about the development of the military-industrial complex and how we need to end war. It also speaks of the need to not be controlled by your ego and experiences of synchronicity.

My bet is that the person you imagined was not a member of the US Special Forces (the Navy SEALS) who has also served in Iraq. Michael Jaco is a very surprising person. This book is his story, especially how he has developed his intuition and the implications that this has.

What the Book’s About
This book is about how Michael developed his intuition – and how you can too. There are practical instructions on the basics of developing your intuition. The instructions are practical and easy to follow.

The development of intuition is told through stories from Michael’s life as a warrior (serving in the US Navy and later as a security contractor). These stories are sometimes quite dramatic. Developing your intuition to help you make better business decisions is one thing; using your intuition in a situation that may save your own life and the lives of those under you command is something else again! Stories about intuition in this situation have a way of commanding attention.

The possible draw back is that the stories are mostly about martial arts and the military. If you don’t like these parts of life then you may not enjoy the book. I must say that I am someone who is well and truly in the peacenik camp – and I think this book is quite worthwhile. Michael makes no attempt to glorify war (and towards the end speaks of the need to end it). He also doesn’t indulge in ‘blood and guts’. No doubt because he has been involved in war, he makes no attempt to give it a Hollywood treatment.

The stories are quite well told and revealing, at least to someone like me who has no interest in things military. The rigours of the training for the Navy SEALS are mind-numbing. I don’t know how anyone survives it.

It also gives a glimpse into the culture of camaraderie that is so necessary in these forces, and is quite different to what is sometimes thought. For instance, that your life literally depends on teamwork. Michael also talks about being a warrior (and dedicated to a higher purpose) rather than just a soldier. This book gives a good glimpse into the mindset of someone in the special forces.

The Writing
The writing is direct and simple. There are no rhetorical flourishes. A sense of Michael’s personality shines through. Sometimes it feels a little flat and there was the occasional tortured sentence. However, I found that if I read it a chapter at a time instead of reading it straight through that this was not a problem.

This writing breathes authenticity. There is no doubt that Michael is directly reporting his own experiences in a plain and straightforward manner. This is important – some of the things Michael has experienced and the topics he talks about can be quite ‘out there’.

Overall
This is a good book, a well told story and clear instructions on how to develop intuition. Even someone like me, who is fairly much a peacenik, found that I agreed with almost everything in it.

If you would like to develop your intuition this is a great place to start. The instructions are straightforward, it is easy to read and the stories are quite involving.

The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.

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Which brings me to this post on the Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life blog. It is about habits that are authentically part of us – and how we can develop these kinds of habits. It is also about whether authenticity can become a habit – I don’t think so, but I can think we can make a habit of taking time to check in with ourselves and so open a space for our authenticity. I hope you like the post, it’s called Habitually Authentic.

The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.

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