Oil and Water
Image by Naomi Ibuki
How can the archetypes of the Ruler and Healer help us in our relationships? An archetype is a mythic figure that is both a part of ourselves and an area of our life.
The Ruler.
It i s important to say that being The Ruler does not mean being authoritarian (a tyrant). The ruler is concerned with making their realm flourish not the gratification of their ego.
The Ruler in our lives is about being conscious; aware of what is going on. This can be very difficult in our relationships. It is so easy to slip into habits – the ways we speak to each other, the way we organise all the routine tasks that we need to do, how we argue about what we need to agree on. And habits are only partly conscious; so they lessen the power of The Ruler to help our realm flourish.
The Ruler means that we are realistic about the health of our relationships. If we can’t assess this for ourselves we get ‘intelligence’ from advisers (whether paid or not). The Ruler doesn’t have the luxury of being deluded about the real situation.
The Ruler then mobilises the resources available to remedy the situation.
The Healer
Sometimes our relationships need healing. There are millions of books and thousands of different therapies so what can I usefully recommend in a brief space. I think the number one thing that would heal our relationships is listening. I mean listening to both others and ourselves.
Listening to others means hearing the words and getting a feeling for the emotion so that when you paraphrase what the other person is saying they go, “Yes” and perhaps their eyes will moisten. Being deeply heard by someone else is a precious experience.
Curiously listening to ourselves can be harder than listening to others. For me the hardest thing is listening to my body – I can be quite happily thinking and pay no attention to where I am or what I’m doing. I can eat a meal and barely realise what it was that I ate. For others it may be harder to listen to your thoughts or your feelings. As we come to know our needs and quirks and desires we can live in harmony with who we really are. And it is easier to have real and nourishing relationships if we know who we really are.
Things to Try
Asking yourself how your relationships are. Nourishing to yourself and others? Nourishing to only you or only the other? Harmful to one or the other? Harmful to both?
What resources do I have to respond and make any unsatisfactory relationship healthier? Do I need to draw on others for advice and assistance?
Keeping a journal of the part of my life I find hardest to listen to.
Waiting before I respond in a conversation instead of responding automatically.
Seeing how I feel and asking if the other person feels the same way.
I’d be delighted to hear about any experiences of how you have healed a relationship.
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Hi, Evan!
You’re right, Mr Bush is a wanker!
And you are more than welcome with your comments on our blog.
Regards,
Mr Ethanol