What a comment. Insightful and articulare as ever.

My guess to is that it is never worth it.

Thanks for a great comment.

To narrow down how many ways I’ve experienced perfectionism might prove difficult. Off the top of my head…

I’ve used it as a personal motivating tool. And as excuse for failure. I compare and contrast. It is the origin of my striving and longing. It was a way to attention getting. It has been a way to keep me down.

I hear a saying from my youth, if you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all.

I’ve held it as a tool to manipulate, shame and humiliate others. I think I’ve used it in the same way on myself.

I have acheived what I once thought was what I wanted to acheive. In that achievement, I’m certain the observation by others proved one can, if not obtain perfection, come close. Rags to riches stories with the perfectionist twist. It was overtly evident I had no joy when I was in the midst of the ‘riches’. And how terribly dissappointed, disillusioned and lost I really was.

It is apparent, as you say, Evan, there are figurative, literal and long term costs for perfectionism. Owing everyone, including oneself in the end, is probably never worth it.