flourishing leaves

image source: Dani Simmonds

These archetypes are based on Carol Pearson’s Awakening the Heroes Within. This book has been with me for twenty years I go back to it over and over again. I recommend it highly.

An archetype is a mythic figure that is both an area of our lives and a part of who we are.

The Ruler.
The Ruler is responsible to be conscious. There is no room for sentimentality – the realm has to be cared for and whatever happens has to be dealt with and responded to. There are no options about this. In some ways The Ruler is a bit of no-fun archetype. Important, rational, valuable but not a whole lot of laughs.

The Ruler is responsible not only to be conscious of the needs of their realm but also of their own strengths and weaknesses. The Ruler serves the realm and needs to know how their own strengths and weaknesses can be used for the good of the realm (or compensated for so their realm is not damaged).

This is all quite a task and it is what we all do. We all have a realm – our relationships and our work. And it is up to do our best with what we have – not all realms are equally blessed with resources.

This is all sounding a bit high flown. In my realm at the moment I am exploring blogging, seeing if I have worthwhile things to say, whether other people are interested in what I say and whether it may be a viable source of income. It is no use if I don’t have anything worthwhile to say, it is no use I am just talking to myself (I need to know if others are interested) and I need to know if it can be a viable source of income. For all of these I have sought counsel from those wiser than me (those people who have blogs with high traffic and do make an income from them. These are the advisers to my Ruler.

The Ruler can be present in even the most mundane of tasks. Organising my desk so that I can be productive is The Ruler in me.

The Healer.
The Healer is what Carol Pearson calls The Magician. I have chosen to call it The Healer instead. This is partly to avoid the connotations of ‘magic’, any idea that I don’t have to do anything to make my life sustainable, or that things will somehow ‘magically’ work for me without my doing anything.

The Healer brings feeling. The Ruler can be awfully cold and unfeeling. If our realms had only The Ruler they would be productive, but in some sense they wouldn’t be worth living in. Our realm would lack the warmth and humanness that brings joy to our lives.

Those who, like me, find it easy to be rational and to treat their lives as a project or a series of schedules need to get in touch with our Healer. Without the Healer we can end up being lonely and not know why. In writing my blog at the moment I am learning to (write for people not about topics – I think I owe this insight to skellie who has a blog about blogging at www.skellie.org which I highly recommend). I have found that when I think about who I am writing for I also connect with another part of myself and that I feel nourished as well. This is The Healer being activated in my life.

Usually the words used to describe a realm in good order are “prosperous” or “abundant”. I have chosen “flourishing” to try to be a little more down to earth and avoid the idea that it is only about money.

Being conscious of what is going on in my life is vital. But finally it is exhausting. I need to find ways to heal – the needs in my life and in myself. When I can do this then my life is sustainable – I am not just coping but growing and enjoying the process.

Getting in touch with my Ruler and Healer
What problems do I have in my life at the moment? Is there anything I can do about them (however small)? If so, what?
What are my strengths? How can I use them to benefit my realm and those in it?
What are my weaknesses? How can I compensate for them so that my realm and those in it do not suffer?

Recommended book. Success by Edward de Bono. Long out of print but get a copy if you can – it is quite marvellous. It studies success across a whole range of fields – not just business as is so often the case – and distills the advice of these successful people.

What are the areas of my life that are incomplete? How can they be healed?
Where are my wounds? What are they asking for? What do I long for? How can I get this?

Recommended book. Born to Win by James and Jongeward. As the cover says it really is, the first and easily the best popular psychology book of them all. Written in and easy to read and understand style with exercises to do at the end of each chapter. It’s very good.

6 Comments to “The Ruler and The Healer Make Our Lives Flourish #1”

  1. DrSteve says:

    Evan – this is a strong recommendation – thanks, I’ll get a copy:
    “Born to Win by James and Jongeward. As the cover says it really is, the first and easily the best popular psychology book of them all.”

  2. Evan Hadkins says:

    Hi DrSteve,

    I think you should be able to pick up one quite cheap. I don’t think you’ll regret it.

    The writing is easy to read and TA – the psychology they use to structure it – was popular in the 60’s and 70’s; which has meant that academics, in their snobbish way, have dismissed it ever since. Just because it is readable and accessible doesn’t mean that it lacks substance in my opinion. It certainly has helped me and many others I know. Let me know how you find it – I’d like to know.


  3. DrSteve says:

    evan – Have you been following any of the metablogging sites? They’re full of bright ideas about how to improve traffic.
    The main three principles I have tried to take on board are:
    1. write the best content possible
    2. contribute to the discussions
    a. especially commenting on related blogs
    b. (guest-posting) contributing articles on others’ blogs
    3. make my site are straightforward to use as possible. (I can see that you’re doing pretty well on these scores.)
    skellie.org is worth subscribing to.
    (May I give a tip based on a wrong turn I took? I started reading too many metablogs – forgetting that that isn’t my niche. They all guest post for each other so I think to read one is plenty.)

  4. Evan Hadkins says:

    Hi DrSteve,

    I follow some metablogging sites. Caroline Middlebrook (had an excellent post on blog commenting strategy), skellie (who had a great post on getting images from flick.r) and a couple of others less worthwhile (at least for me at the moment). They certainly all do cross reference each other!

    I do try to provide quality content. All suggestions for improvement welcome. One comment – in a thread on one of the metablogs – I got I think was meant to say that they felt I was writing above their head and not down to earth enough. I try to have stuff that has behavioural outcomes for every post. But I am an intuitive and I do know that I tend to leave out the connections. Also that I’m heady – so I’m doing my best to write personally.

    I try to comment on related blogs. I only want to leave complements and constructive stuff and perhaps I’m a perfectionist but this cuts down the number of blogs I feel I can comment on. Not all content has the standard of yours and the others I comment on. As I’ve doing this I’ve been getting some comments back so I guess I’m gradually developing a following. It’s a case of the tortoise rather than the hare for me.

    At the moment I’m going to get some guest posts from a friend. My site is fairly low traffic at the moment so those with high traffic sites have no reason to pay attention to me yet. So it’s a case of going with who I know at the moment.

    I really value the time you’ve taken to help me with this stuff. A heart felt thanks. Evan

  5. DrSteve says:

    evan – I do appreciate your thoughtful comments which come my way.
    The tortoise is the way to go – a good number of regular readers will take time.
    My twocents – I can’t agree that you’re writing above the heads of the kind of readers you want.
    Thanks for the middlebrook reference.

  6. Evan Hadkins says:

    Your welcome. I value your comments also.


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