This is a map of our experience. Its purpose is to give us a guide to where we may be having problems (especially when we feel that it is ‘the same thing again’). It is based on the combination of the taoist symbol the ba gua (an octagon with a centre) and gestalt psychotherapy. This [...]
I don’t find shame enjoyable, I don’t suppose many people do. I don’t mean that shame feels good. So let’s explore shame a little. Shame is when we feel others disapproval – and agree with them that our behaviour wasn’t what it should be. Those who are ‘shameless’ don’t just do things that are disapproved [...]
We often don’t like to admit we are afraid of something. I guess this is because some part of us wants to believe that we are, if not invincible, at least able to handle anything that life can throw at us. To put it starkly: this is just silly. There are many things that can [...]
Sadness helps us finish with what is important to us. Sadness is important in our lives for at least three reasons. 1. Some endings are inevitable. Change is always with us. If we don’t want anything to change we will be always frustrated and this is no recipe for a healthy life. If we don’t [...]
I think we need a new word: “prendship”. A prendship is a permanent relationship that is a friendship. Making up this new word came from a couple of things. Firstly, separating from my wife. Marriage is, still, usually thought of as permanent. Even though a large percentage of those who get married then get divorced. [...]
Anger gets a bad press – for good reason: it can lead to violence. Violence is almost always inappropriate and most often counter-productive (violence may be appropriate for self-defence). So if we’re going to talk about anger we need to get the connection with violence out of the way. Usually we are violent when we [...]
It seems very likely that we will in the future need to live with less energy. This has implications for health. Do we really need to devise a lifestyle that is less energy intensive? Is there really a shortage of energy? I am convinced that the answer to both these question is “no”. With existing [...]
Geelong Grammar, a high school in Australia, has decided to add positive psychology to its education. This trial will involve the guru of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, living on the campus and training teachers in his approach. This is some indication of how seriously this experiment is being taken, and how important those in the [...]
