Just a quick link to a post on mindfulness and pain management. It gives specific instances of the practices the author uses to manage pain and also mentions unhelpful advice (which lacks compassion). If you are managing chronic pain – or know someone who is – I think this is well worth reading.
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
Tags: chronic pain, managing pain with mindfulness, mindfulness, pain, pain management
After a big change am I still me? We have grown so much since we were six months old – does it make much sense to think of ourselves as being the same person?
These are the sorts of things I’m puzzling about in my guest post on the Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life blog. It’s called Personality and Identity: Do I Stay the Same “Me” Over The Years?. I hope you like it, Evan.
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
Tags: change, identity, personal development, personal growth
I’ve been writing this blog for quite a while now. From what I can gather from the stats packages I use (they are all anonymous, so it is a bit of a guess) it looks like some of you at least have been following me for a while. I’ve been talking to you a lot.
So, I’d like to listen instead. Let me get to know you a bit. Tell me a bit about you. Let me know if you would like me to write on something or do something different by all means, but mostly I’d just like to hear from you.
Looking forward to hearing from your world, Evan.
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
Tags: feedback
It’s been a long while since I did a round-up of good posts I’ve found. I’ve been bookmarking (blogmarking?) them so I would have them to do a post about.
I’ve realised that I won’t get the time any time soon to do a post on each so this is the collection.
First up is a collection to lead off this collection. It is a blog carnival against child abuse. (A blog carnival is a collection of posts on a particular subject – in this case child abuse). This carnival isn’t just stories about survivors and their experience, it also includes posts for advocacy and awareness as well as dealing with the aftermath of abuse. In all there are nearly 30 posts, each with a sentence or paragraph describing the post and what it is about.
Perhaps my favourite blogger is Albert the Urban Monk. The quality of his posts is remarkable I think. (If you are a regular reader of this blog and are tired of hearing how good Albert is; all I have to say is – go read his stuff I think it’s every bit as good as I say it is.) I would like to highlight two recent posts by Albert both about resolving the past from slightly different perspectives. The first is about the Unresolved Past – that is when we are surprised by how much something hurts us – we understand that we are hurt but why so much? Albert gives a step by step process for finding what is underneath and how to resolve. Simple and practical, if you are having this kind of reaction it is well worth reading this post. The second post is similar – about forgiveness and When the Memories Return. This deals with healing the pain by expressing it fully, that love can’t be rushed and that it can take a long time because we are changing ourselves (perhaps in a quite deep way). I think this is an excellent post on a topic that is often treated in a superficial and glib way (”you just have to forgive them”).
On to more ‘physical’ stuff. For those over 70 being a little overweight (not a lot) is better for your health. This finding was from a large study and reported in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society. It seems to be quite a solid finding.
In my view the single best thing to do to improve any relationship is listening. This post is all about listening. This means paying attention, listening from the heart and so on. This post provides lots of perspectives about listening. It is well written and a good read, even if a little lacking with the how-to’s it will provide motivation and insight I think.
Another of my favourite blogs is Storied Mind where John writes about his journey to overcome depression. This post is about the ending of the dreams that is involved with the end of depression. Here is a sample of the post: “And that’s the reawakening, the moment when regaining life becomes possible. There’s regret, there’s grief and, yes, a lot of crying for the loss of so much that might have been. But recovery means you take at last a real you and start over.” John writes very well indeed. His writing is personal and very practical. If you battle with depression or are involved with someone who does I recommend his blog in general and this post in particular.
On to social context. A survey in the British Medical Journal of studies on Income Inequality and Health found that for those in societies with social inequality the health outcomes were bad for people – no matter what their income. The authors of the post remark that, “no one supports the redistribution of income just to improve health outcomes”. Well actually there is at least one who does (guess who?) and this one suspects there might be others too! From the societal level to the intimacy of the couple. A study reports that. “when close partners affirm and support each other’s ideal selves, they and the relationship benefit greatly”. If you needed a reason to support your partner in growing in the way they want to, now you’ve got it.
I’ve recently found a couple of new blogs that I just love. One of them is Beyond Karma by kaushik (no idea how it’s pronounced, sorry). Simple, personal, practical and with deep stuff to say about personal change and transendence. This post is about Allowing the Disturbing States and what kaushik learned from doing so. This post isn’t really skimmable, so set aside 5-10 minutes to read it properly, I think you’ll find it time well spent.
Another blog I love that I have discovered recently is The Naked Soul by Mark (a.k.a tobeme). The first post I would like to highlight is a Christmas reflection called No Room at the Inn. Another is this post on the virtues of being ‘out of control’ – that is, being in tune with spirit rather than trying to control our lives through our ego.
Which is maybe a good place to end this round-up. I hope you don’t find this all too overwhelming and so don’t read it (I do have a tendency to overwhelm with content I’m afraid), just choose whatever catches your eye – you can come back to other stuff later. Happy reading, Evan.
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
Tags: child abuse, forgiveness, health, self development
Recently I have been reading Caroline Brazier’s Buddhist Psychology, which I recommend.
This lead to me thinking about suffering and how we respond to it – this is quite important in Buddhism (not to mention in our lives).
I have written about this in a guest post on the Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life blog. It is called Three Ways to Respond to Suffering. I hope you like it, Evan.
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
Tags: suffering
One theme of the last two decades of my life has been: how do I make my money doing what I love? This blog and my website is part of finding the answer to this question.
I have been blogging fairly consistently for a couple of years now and have read much on blogging and making money from it. Most of which I haven’t found much use; and much of what I have liked has been confusing and/or contradictory.
So, what I decided to do was to ask those who had succeeded in making their income by blogging. I interviewed six quite diverse people: they varied from the very corporate, to the thoroughly spiritual, from quite young to middle aged. They also cover a quite diverse selection of topics.
I then distilled what they had to say. (Those eBooks that just provide different interviews I find to be confusing and not much help.) The result is five themes of these people’s experience.
If you are interested in blogging or making your income by doing what you love I think there will be stuff in it for you. You can download it here.
Cost? Free, nada, zip, zilch. (Though I do plan to do more extensive versions in the coming months that I’ll charge for.)
I hope you like it. All comments most welcome.
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
I have a guest post on the Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life blog called An Introvert’s Authenticity. The introvert referred to is yours truly. For me honouring my introversion has probably been the trickiest part of authenticity – especially at those times and in those places where you are meant to ’sell yourself’ (I think we are all more valuable than money).
I hope you like the post. All comments most welcome, Evan
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
Tags: authenticity, introversion
Some Australians (those as old as me), will be able to remember ‘Kingswood Country’ – a sitcom that ran for a few seasons and was quite popular.
It was about a family – the father was called Ted. Ted was a fairly crass and insensitive character. When Ted had a difficulty with something he often voiced the view, “Somebody ought to blow up [whatever he was having a difficulty with]”.
[Funniest line I remember from the show. Ted’s wife Thelma was sick with a cold. When Ted gets up in the morning a house guest enquires, “And how’s Thelma feel this morning Ted?” Ted’s reply, “Uh, soft and rubbery as usual”.]
This is how I’m feeling at the moment, “Somebody ought to blow up full time work!”!
For the last year I’ve been working both a full-time and a part-time job. This hasn’t lead to any major disasters or had a terribly negative impact – but it is a long way from what I would prefer. I would have like to spend much more time exploring qi gong, going for walks, spending time with my partner, preparing nice meals . . . the list is long.
Most people I know value the time they spend with their family and loved ones. Most people I know spend most of their time away from those they love, doing what they don’t particularly enjoy.
There are other costs too: Time spent commuting, the price of clothes, possibly eating not as well as at home.
Full-time work just seems like a rotten way to organise our lives.
A Sign of Hope
The ‘downshifting’ phenomenon seems to mean that many people are deciding that full-time work and other aspects of a consumerist lifestyle are not how they want to live. A survey of this downshifting phenomenon in Australia found that in a five year period 25% of people had voluntarily reduced their lifestyle (this excluded those who had retired or returned to study). This amounts to a huge social movement – which has (for the large part) been resolutely ignored by the media and politicians.
What to do?
Trade-offs
In Australia (where the price of renting and buying a house is very high) most people work full-time to buy a house. (And as the affordability of housing continues to decline it will increasingly mean both partners working full time.)
It’s likely that giving up full-time work means giving up hopes of owning a house – in a major metropolitan centre anyway.
Downshifting
Another kind of trade-off is reducing your lifestyle to a lower income. Usually this means getting rid of the car. (This is very difficult to do with young children I think; especially in developer built suburbia where shops and services usually aren’t within walking distance.) Other things it can mean: changing the kind of entertainment to spending time with people at homes and in public rather than going out to eat or be entertained. Making and taking food places instead of buying it at a destination. Making and taking lunch to work. Walking each day instead of a gym membership. Buying and cooking ingredients instead of heating pre-packaged food.
Innovation
Working from home
Some kinds of work can be done from home. Even if you spend as much time working you will stay save the time commuting and perhaps be able to eat lunch with friends and family. This does require being able to set boundaries and not work all the time (if you like others to maintain boundaries for you then you may end up working more hours than you did going out to work.)
Your own business
If you have the ability to sell then you have an advantage. Any one with their own business needs to sell. This means either finding other people’s stuff to sell or making your own stuff to sell.
At the moment it is relatively cheap, quick and easy to see if you could have your own business. The costs of entry for an online business are tiny compared to bricks and mortar businesses. This depends on the kind of business – you can’t do a massage online. If it is a hands-on business you can usually start trying it out with friends – be sure to ask for an honest answer about how much they would pay (figure out a way for them to do it anonymously – such as giving them a self-addressed envelope with a feedback form – if you need to).
If you want to try your own business, make sure you plan one that can be done part-time. Think about if you are prepared to be on call a lot to build clientele in the early days. Think about how you will cut this back as you go. Think about if the business could involve you working enjoyably together with those you love.
Not working = doing what you love
Can you find someone to pay you to do what you love (an employer or a customer)? If so then this can do away with a lot of the unpleasantness of full-time work.
These are my thoughts. What are your thoughts on full-time work? A necessary evil? A valuable necessity? I’d like to hear how you have responded to full-time work? Avoided it? Embraced it? Found ways to cope with it? I look forward to hearing from you in the comments.
Would you like to feel less stressed?
Could you do with more joy in your life?
The answer is living authentically. Buy the book or sign up for the course now from my Living Authentically website.
Tags: employment, full-time work
